my old blog

I moved.

I gave up on using blogger...you can find me here now.

LIFE IS A BOWL FULL OF JERRYS

Stop Screaming & Hiding Your Eyes, Listen up.

OK, I've promised myself that I'm not going to go ON and ON about this whole business of going back to the gym. Yes, I'm excited about getting back into shape but I don't need to drone on about my reasons and whatnot.

However, I think you might like to know what brought this whole "back into shape" business on in the first place. One of you out there understands this because you've seen it first hand. The other day I was parking my car into my garage, I drive a gas guzzling SUV (not the big version, the medium size one) and my garage is quite small. So depending on just how I approach the garage, it can be hard to get out of the car and then, to get out of the garage...you follow me?

So this day I was trying to get out of the garage...so I was going to slide between the car and the Garage door hinge...well, I eyeballed the space and figured No Sweat I can fit through there. ACK! I didn't fit and I was going at a pretty good speed too. OUCH!

Well, Fat Story short, I kinda got stuck.... and it bruised the hell out of my fat gut. This was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back as you might say. Wedged in, stuck like a pig.

It wasn't the first time either....now I don't really recall how many times or places I got my fat ass wedged in or bruised up....but there have been mysterious markings showing up on my mass that have had me concerned. I don't want to become one of those poor waddling souls that break a sweat everytime they have to take a few extra steps or can't get through turnstiles...and for heaven's sakes forced to buy an extra seat on an airplane to accomodate my unsightly girth.
That's what started this whole gym thing off and running and I'm happy about it...trust me.

Now this photo might look like an ASS but it's not, it's my fat gut hanging over my jeans....ick!

Soon to be HISTORY...thank you.

:::::smile::::

The Answer to my Insomnia

BIG NEWS....
I've found the answer to MY insomnia. I'm sure most of you told me to try these things but it's always better if I think it's MY idea. Looking back, I can't even understand why I didn't try this sooner.....uh...cuz' in real life, most of the time, I'm seriously lazy? uh...yep.

First Thing...
Get up at 4 AM everyday. No matter if you slept or not, just get out of bed.

Second Thing...
Go to the gym and do a 90 minute workout. Work HARD all 90 minutes.

Third Thing...
Come home, get out of those sweaty clothes and hit the SPANK BANK
(and the HNT photos I've snagged off your blogs) for some admiration for the female form while indulging in some well needed self-appreciation. got it?

Fourth Thing...
Be creative about what you eat and drink. Stop drinking liquids after 7PM. I can't tell you how many times I'd have get up during the night after drinking two bottles of wine (yeah, I know that might be part of the insomnia too, duh.)

All in all everything is back to what I profess to be "normal" (if asked).

How's every little thing in your world?

Let's get physical. (again)

Hey Everyone...why didn't you say something? Holy Crap, I sobered up long enough to find out...what the HELL? I'm out of shape and look like this GUY/whatever.

How did that happen? I know I've been missing a few visits to the gym.....(like, going on 3 years, as a matter of fact) and I've threatened to go back ALL the time. (long time readers like Lisa can verify that)

Here is what I looked like in 2003. Trust me there is nothing better than when your obsessive/compulsive behavior unleashes itself on eating right and exercising. I lost about 50 pounds in a little over 3 months. I have to confess that was the best I ever felt. (and looked) I weighed 170.

So I've decided to redirect my compulsive behavior in this direction again.
Wow, I'd even do me back then.

Don't worry it has no real effect on my "pervy" or "HornDog" behavior. In fact I think it kicks the "kink" level up a few notches.

Wheeeeee!

(today's official weigh in 208 lbs.) ugh!

Doll Clothes, Dildo, a Dog, Bone ET Home & Elfis

"All of my other suits are at the cleaners."

As a couple "Dink" and Nancy gave up trying not to draw attention to themselves.

Best way to get rid of those damn Jehovah Witness and Fundamentalist Christian kooks who continually drop by.
("good boy Archie, I think Bible Billy wants to play...take your chew toy to him....that's a good boy.")

Anyone want to guess what the most common injury is when playing the accordian topless? (titty twister to the 8th power, I bet)

Take one guess where Michael's other hand is.
Michael says..
"ET is not my lover
he's just an alien who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my fun
he says I am the one, but the kid is not my fun..AHEEE-HEEE"
"ET...bone home"
(funny how I made ET look a lot like Oprah...hahahahaha!)

Hey, shouldn't this hair-do be back in style by now?

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alright, that's enough out of me...insomnia is good for one thing. it gives you plenty of time to either blog or watch bad infomercials all night on TV...
I prefer blogging.
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OH yeah one more thing...